United States - Islam/Terrorists/Hair Gel

There are a million and a half Muslims in America. If one were to generalize you could say they were black men and women who seek to battle the poverty and lack of self-respect 400 years of American identity have left them with. The roots of Islam are in Chicago. Most people know of the rantings and expostulations of the self-promotional Louis Farrakhan (his news organ can be found at http://www.finalcall.com/) But few know of the Muslim American Society led by the son of Elijah Mohammed (the person that Farakhan is supposedly continuing the works of). Yes, there is divisiveness in the Muslim community in the United States, particularly between Muslim immigrants from the Middle East and South Asia, and the definitely more laid back style of homegrown Chicago Islam. Probably the most unfair and pervasive stereotype is that of skinny mujahedin turned cab drivers packing fertilizer into U-Hauls waiting for an activation call from bin Laden. Yes, they exist but they do live up to the reputation the media has given them.

Despite the seriousness given Islamic terrorists by American journalists, they tend to resemble the gang that couldn't shoot straight. According to one of DP's buddies who was hired by the FBI to infiltrate Islamic groups stateside, you'd have a better chance finding bin Laden supporters at a Pillsbury Bakeoff. True, Islamic terrorists were behind the February 26, 1993, bombing of the New York World Trade Center (WTC), which killed six and wounded more than 1,000 others. The FBI and local authorities busted nine suspected Islamic terrorists associated with the bombing as well as other plots to bomb targets in New York, including the UN building and the Lincoln and Holland tunnels beneath the Hudson River. They also are alleged to have put plans together to assassinate both prominent American and Egyptian politicians. FBI agents and immigration authorities nabbed a blind Egyptian cleric named Sheikh Omar Abdel-Rahman (famous for allegedly issuing the fatwa that led to the assassination of Egyptian President Anwar Sadat in 1981) on felony charges in connection with the WTC bombing and the other proposed terrorist activities. Rahman and his nine followers were convicted in October 1995 of seditious conspiracy and will be guests of Uncle Sam (using your tax dollars, of course) for a long time.

However, on closer inspection, it seems that the sheik's bodyguard, Emad Salem, a former Egyptian army colonel, was an FBI informant who supplied 150 hours of audio- and videotapes of the entire plot. The videotapes even include shots of the men mixing their homemade fertilizer bombs. Many experts agree that it was a miracle that any of the crudely made bombs could go off at all. For those who have no interest in terrorism we should mention that Farrakhan sells some bitching hair gel and motivational tapes (http://www.finalcall.com/sales/order-form.html, Visa and Master Card accepted) and DP didn't appreciate the gestapo pat down and brush off on our last visit.

The Bin Laden Babies

Did The Stepford Wives scare the hell out of you? How Obout The Omen? Or The Boys From Brazil? Get ready for The Bin Laden Babies, an entire generation of freaked-out whackos from Afghanistan and Pakistan plotting embassy bombings and subway gas attacks on Boston, and they all go by the name of Osama. A bad movie? Maybe not. A survey conducted in the Dir region that borders the two countries revealed that Osama has now become the most popular name for a new boy. More than 500 infants in Pakistan's remote Khost region have been named after the infamous terrorist Osama bin Laden since 1998's embassy bombings in Africa. Businesses are even changing their names. There's now Osama Poultry Farms, a watchmaker named Osama Watches, the Osama Bakery, Osama Cloth House and Osama Public School. Bin Laden has become the Michael Jordan of the "Stans." Be like Ossie. No word, though, on when Nike will come out with its Air Osama running shoe.

Muslim American Society

http://www.worldforum.com/ministry/abmnstry/mission.htm

American Moslem Foundation

http://www.oz.net/~msarram/

Nation of Islam

Maryam Mosque

7351 South Stoney Island Avenue

Chicago, IL 60649

Tel.: (312) 324-7619

http://www.noi.org/

North American Association of Muslim Professionals and Scholars

http://www.ecnet.net/users/mfmas/naamps/naamps.html