Over the last 10 years, there have been more than 100 wars with 20 million fatalities. So it would take a moronically optimistic person to assume that the next millennium will bring love, peace and happiness to this planet. This is the first year we sent down some star attractions to the minor leagues. Among them are Angola, Armenia, Georgia, Bosnia, Bolivia and other places we just got too damn tired waiting for something major to happen in. It would seem that most of the Coming Attractions are like '80s sitcoms-they just never go away, but then they never get big again either.

So with some trepidation and a roll of the dice, we open ourselves to possible ridicule as we present our low-budget trailer of things to come in the next The World's Most Dangerous Places.

Crystal Green Persuasion

Poor Angola has been downgraded from a full chapter in last year's DP to a coming attraction. The only pissed off rebels left are FLEC (Frente Liberacion de Enclave Cabinda) running around the oil fields in the north. Jonas Savimbi and his UNITA forces are doing a better job holding on to its oil and diamond fields in the north. Savimbi pockets $500 million a year and used to rely on Mobutu to watch his back in the former Zaire. No more. Kabila supports the current government and is eyeing the diamond fields greedily. Since Savimbi used to use the ports in Zaire to ship his booty to Europe, he is having a hard time trying to keep up the flow. When UNITA was first formed in 1966, he also had South Africa and the CIA watching his bottom and wallet. No more. For now UNITA is officially part of the MPLA (the official party in power since 1975), but it does not let the government wander into its diamond fields or the 70 percent of the country it controls. It remains to be seen how the government can coax Savimbi and his army out of the diamond fields. Currently, they are shipping troop convoys and supplies into the northeast to expand the current fighting. So what's it going to be Jonas? Green backs or bullets?

Head for the Hills

The Shanti Bahani, and Shantu Larma and Chakma are fighting for tribal rights against a sea of immigrants. They and the government of Bangladesh are working under the 24th extension of the 1992 ceasefire. The rebels have been fighting for control of a 5500 sq ft. area in the Hill Tracts. They want 300,000 Bengalis expelled from the region. Since 1973, 3500 people have been killed as a result of the uprising. The government said they cannot give the Shanti Bahini self rule or expel the settlers.

There's No Place Like Home

Straddling the border of France and Spain, the seven provinces of the Basque Country (or Euskal Herria in the Basque language of Euskaria)-three on the French side, four in Espana-stretch across both sides of the Pyrenees mountain chain all the way over to the Atlantic Coast and the Bay of Biscay. They have boundaries that harbor ethereal mists, snowcapped peaks, ancient monasteries, world-class surf spots, and semi-naked-Beautiful People resorts. And you can also toss in an abundance of ambrosia-like food and wine. Ah, but even Shangri-La was merely an illusion, and Euskadi also exudes some tricky shadow play.

The fiercely independent Basques-about 2.5 million of them-have for decades been trying to gain autonomy from both Spain and France. Simply, they'd like to establish their own homeland, an exclusive turf on which to preserve their much-older-than-the-hills traditions and language of Euskaria. And, just as simply, both the Spanish and French governments would as soon see those feisty and troublesome Basques either shut the hell up or disappear off the face of their respective lands. The result? The usual unpleasant loop of rebel/underdog strategies versus powerful-government-and-police tactics-i.e., terrorism.

The players have been at each other's throats and other body parts in earnest since the 1960s. Franco and his not-famous-for-humanitarianism regime had sought to crush the Basque political presence (if not the entire population) back in 1937. The Generalissimo and His Boys may have quashed the movement for the short-term but-come the '60s-the Basques' big itch for freedom reared up with a vengeance. Vengeance at least for the ETA (Euskadi Ta Askatasuna, or "Basque Homeland and Freedom"), the muy energetic militant extremist movement with a commitment to violence. The ETA advocated armed struggle for the independence of Euskadi, and its inaugural pranks included bombings, grenade attacks, and an all-out ferocious war-aimed mainly at the Spanish government down in Madrid, its power mongers and henchmen. The ETA's blockbuster wake-up call was the 1973 assassination of Francoist Prime Minister Luis Carrero Blanco. Spain, obviously, could forget about this unwanted bunch just disappearing into the paella.

In a seemingly good-faith attempt to appease the ETA, Euskadi was granted semi-autonomy in 1979, four years after Franco's death. Basically this translated to permitting signs in the native Euskal language to be erected along roadsides and on public buildings, along with the usual lip service about "official talks" and "future concessions." Meanwhile-lest the peasants became a little too impatient or semiautonomous, the Spanish government immediately installed its own particular brand of "safeguards" in the region, i.e., a sizable "special" police force and a veritable military occupation-plus all the predictable perks: blatant abuses of power, unfounded arrests, police brutality, and, everybody's favorite antiguerrilla cure-death squads.

Prime Minister Felipe Gonzalez, who in the 1980s claimed to be oh-so-sensitive to the Basques' plight and desire for home rule, is alleged to have had knowledge of the death squads (G.A.L.) which were in full swing at the same time of his heartfelt outpourings. Another finger is pointed at Julian Sancristobal, Spain's former Director of State Security and head of the antiterrorist unit in one of the Basque provinces-directly linking him to G.A.L. snuffing of suspected Basque separatists.

But, hey, the ETA wasn't falling for all that semi-autonomy fluff-stuff anyway. No G.A.L. death squads were going to make them run for the hills. They simply went elsewhere for support-purportedly Libya, Iran, Syria, and the Irish Republican Army-collecting explosives, arms, and post-Rambo training. Anyway, the ETA wants full autonomy. Consequently, the past two-and-a-half decades have added up to one miserable cycle of attack and retaliation. And while tourists to the Basque Country come to "take the waters"-for some of the locals and their enemies, the big soak has been one long blood bath.

What makes the Basques so damned special? They profess to be the oldest people-with the oldest language-in all of Europe. And no one can refute the claim that their origins are a mystery, their language a linguistic oddity. Scholars refer to them as "Europe's mystery people."

Long isolated in the Pyrenees border region, they are so secretive that many of their accomplishments have either been overlooked or credited to others. The Basques claim-and evidence agrees-that their fishers and whalers cruised to the New World at least a century before Columbus and his Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria menage a trois ever hit the shores. Historians believe the early Basques were far more sophisticated than even the rich and shapely sunbathers over at Biarritz. Among the findings are intricate navigational aids, a fanatical precision in recording topography, a base-seven numerical system, and a whole lot of Stonehenge-era fancies.

The contemporary Basques are jovial, spirited, fun-loving and strong. Very few are members of the ETA and most deplore the violence-however, the death squads and military presence quickly turned a lot of the "can't-be-bothereds" into sympathizers (albeit silent ones). They continue to practice their culture no matter what any government entity decrees, going about their business in the mountain villages-dancing, singing, producing crafts, drinking local wine and cooking hearty meals. Most of the men play a mean game of pelota (a sport they invented) as well as the unique "Basque lifting"-weight-lifting with 200-kilogram-plus stones. They love contests of strength-tossing poles, dragging boulders and oxen. To prepare their famous "mountain oyster stew," specially trained shepherds simply gnaw off a sheep's testicles with one deft bite.

Originally, ETA attacks were launched on the Spanish side of the border, after which the guerrillas would head over to the French side for refuge. (The Basques refer to themselves as Zaspiakbat, or "the seven make only one"-united without regard to any "artificial" borders.) Since 1992, however, the French police have stepped up their crackdown on suspected terrorists-encored by France's right-wing government breathing down their necks. The ETA, to its credit, has tried to keep innocent bystanders out of its scope, predominately targeting politicians, industrialists, and civil guardsmen. Some of the larger railway stations and banks, however, have been sporadically hit by bombs. Cars with French license plates are also red-flagged. As for the police and military in the region-anyone can qualify for their brand of fun and games.

You're about as safe in the Basque Country as in most other places in Western Europe. Beach resorts, ski areas, spas, and the Tour de France route are visitor-friendly. Searches at border crossings are occasional inconveniences-and it's probably best not to linger around any railway stations or public buildings.

It is assumed that the Balkans will explode again in order to get back to its God given right to be the Balkans. For now there is a knife edge tension as U.S. troops pretend to be blind with war criminals. The good news is that over 7 million people are visiting neighboring Croatia after they spent $167 million to repair the war damage. So could Sarajevo be the next vacation hot spot?

CAR Cesspool

We'd like to warn you that it is getting more dangerous, but then it never has been safe in this pocket-sized cesspool. The only thing that keeps it from turning into Liberia or Zaire is the French Paratroopers that baby-sit the potentate for a day. There are about 2500 French citizens in the country.

In May of '96 the streets were slippery with blood as the French put down another weeklong mutiny attempt. The French use CAR as a staging ground to defend Chad against Libya.

Hatfields and Mcozkis

You know Chechnya, but you could care less about Dagestan, Georgia, Abkhazia, Ingush-Ossetia and those other unpronounceable forgettable Russian wastelands. This region is mountainous, full of warring ethnic tribes and clans and was totally messed up by Stalin in the '40s and '50s. So it's natural that pretty much every clan member, criminal, nationalist, government and military group hates, mistrusts and attacks every other group. For now, the region is full of drugs, insurgencies, mafias, criminals, corrupt politicians, corrupt Russian military and police units all trying to make a living and hoping that the pipelines from Baku into Russia will make live wonderful again. It takes more space than its worth to try to make heads or tails until things get really nasty. For now, being kidnapped or blown up should be your major concern.

It's a Small War After All

DP can never be accused of painting the world with too broad a brushstroke. In these two minuscule Spanish enclaves on the north coast of Africa, it seems they have enough room for an insurgency group. The two areas were kept by Spain when they handed over Morocco in the 16th century. It has taken this long for a coalition called the "August 21" group, led by Moslem activist Mohamed Abdou, to threaten Spain with further armed attacks. The August 21 group claimed responsibility for two car-bomb attacks in April of 1995; no one was hurt. In a recent visit by the Spanish prime minister with the king of Morocco, they forgot to bring up the issue. It appears Spain shut Morocco up back in 1974, when they handed them their colony of Spanish Sahara. The August 21 group sent a threatening fax and asserted that their cause was "as holy and noble... as other nationalist groups."

Breaking Up is Hard To Do

China has its problems. In the next five years it is estimated that the current 100 million people who have migrated to the city to find work will swell to 200 million. Beijing has over 3 million who cannot find steady work. Forty million are unemployed. Inflation runs about 25 percent. One hundred million people are unemployed. Half of the 100,000 state owned business lose money and will be shut down or sold off. Eight hundred million peasants live a subsistence life and resent the new city based economic growth. There are serious doubts that China will be able to feed itself without importing massive amounts of food. After Xiaoping's death, things are relatively calm in China, but for how long.

If all of China's 1.2 billion people were to do anything at once, let alone jump off a wall, it would paralyze the country.

This isn't good news for tourists and even worse news for the government because tourism to China has been surging in recent years. About 1.74 million foreign tourists visited Beijing alone in 1992, compared with less than 300,000 in 1978. In the first six months of 1993, 882,600 foreigners visited the capital city, up 13 percent over the corresponding period the preceding year. Throughout China, tourism brought in a whopping US$1.69 billion in the first five months of 1993, up 22.2 percent over the same period in 1992. That figure is a record.

China possesses no known terrorist groups (that is if you ignore the entire populations of East Turkmenistan and Tibet) , but a ride on one of their domestic airliners may make you wish they did-so the plane could be hijacked to a country with decent air traffic control. Unlike in other parts of the world, hijackers in China aren't trying to draw world attention to a cause (they wouldn't get it, anyway). They're not likely to make ransom demands. And it's not done for the love of God. They're simply trying to get the hell out. Taiwan is the favored destination. There are about 10 hijackings to Taipei a year and about a dozen that are foiled.

The good news is that 4367 Chinese criminals were executed last year. About a couple more thousand were sentenced to death but for some reason they couldn't find time for the quick pop to the back of the head and a trip to the morgue to have their organs ripped out. Why good news? Well, it seems between 2000-3000 kidneys and corneas are available each year for transplant in China. Human Rights Watch has even accused China of keeping condemned prisoners alive until the organs are needed. Crimes are generally nonviolent; thefts form the bulk of them. Despite the executions, major crime incidents have risen by nearly 20 percent annually in the past four years.

If you don't want people in pieces you can also get them whole. China also has gangs that kidnap teenage women for sex trades and young boys for families that seem to plop out girls.

The Chinese Public Security Ministry has admitted the country does not have the resources to protect tourists from the rising rate of crime across the mainland. The Qiandao Lake incident may be a precursor of what's to come. There have been numerous recent incidents where tourists have been robbed, beaten and even murdered. However, in considering whether to report a crime in a country where residents can be executed for stealing a ball point pen or for hooliganism, the normal traveler is more likely to let that disposable camera go instead of making a federal case.

Dangerous Places

China loves a revolution except when other folks want to revolt. Like most dictatorships, freedom means enslaving and forcibly occupying other people's countries.

Tibet

China invaded Tibet in 1950, and, in the process, killed 1.2 million people, a tenth of the Tibetan population. China has destroyed 6,241 monasteries. There are only 13 left.

East Turkmenistan

The muslim turks don't want to be Chinese, so groups based in neighboring countries keep the revolution at a simmer.

Getting In

Passports and visas are required. Most tourist visas are valid for only one entry. Travelers are required to obtain new visas for additional entries into China. Those who arrive without a visa will be fined a minimum of $400 at the port of entry and might not be allowed to enter China (or get out!). A transit visa is required for any stop (even if one does not exit the plane or train) in China. Specific information is available through the Embassy of the People's Republic of China or from one of the consulates general in Chicago, Houston, Los Angeles, New York or San Francisco.

Chinese Embassy in the U.S.

2300 Connecticut Avenue, NW

Washington, DC 20008

(202) 328-2500.

U.S. Embassy in China

Xiu Shui Dong Jie 3

Beijing -100600

[86] (1) 532-3831

Backwater Bungle

These fragrant islands in the Indian Ocean don't seem big enough for problems, but things never seem to cool down (see the Mercenaries chapter). In August of '97 residents of Anjouan Island (under seccessionist leader "president" Abdullah Ibrahim) decided to break away-back to French colonial rule. They may be on to something since sister isle Mayotte was doing much better economically under French control. France said thanks, but no thanks.

Machete sales soared, and when the main island sent in troops, they were forced to retreat with 105 captured, 40 dead and 30 wounded. Thinking this retro independence thing was a good idea, the smallest island of Moheli decided to declare its independence from the Comoroan Federation and elected an army officer to be "president."

The Tourist War

Petru Pogglii, born in 1940, is the leader of the Corsican Nationalist Alliance. The CNA is an offshoot of the Corsican National Liberation Front/Front Liberation National Corsican (NLNC) founded in 1976. Their headquarters is in Carbuccia.

There are about a 1000 separatist rebels in a number of small gangs, most of whom are aligned with a liberation front. The gangs spend as much time fighting among each other as they do the French. Over the last 20 years, there have been 8400 terrorist attacks and 100 deaths. A poll in 1996 showed that 86 percent of Corsicans are against independence. On July 2, a car bomb exploded in daylight in the middle of Ajaccio, killing one of leaders of the Corsican FLNC and injuring another leader seriously. About 2 million tourists visit the island each year.

U (N) Can Never Go Home Again

The oldest U.N. mission in the world is living testament to the fact that you can keep the kids from squabbling, but you will never make them kiss and make up. It's the Greeks versus the Turks. Both sides will tell you horror stories of what will happen once you cross the U.N. border. As usual, both sides are comprised of charming, hospitable people. There are 198,000 Turks (double compared to 1960) and 650,000 Greek Cypriots. Meanwhile, gangsters from Eastern Europe fight amongst each other for control of nightclubs and entertainers.

Rumble in the Jungle

What do you get when you have a border that no one can see and changes like a baking loaf of bread? And with hot heads baking it? Why, Equador and Peru, of course. Ecuador and Peru fought a war over this 1000-mile-long swamp in the Amazon basin back in 1941 and they haven't forgotten about it. In fact, they duked it out again in 1981 and almost came to blows yet another time in 1991. There was even a bullet pinball game in early 1994.

This time it's over a 50-mile stretch in the lush, jungle-covered mountains of Cordillera del Condor that would give Equador access to the Amazon and Maranon rivers-if they had it. Although no one seems to be able to prove it, the area is supposedly rich in gold deposits. Just the rumor alone is apparently enough to raise rifles.

The Protocol of Rio de Janeiro was signed in 1942 to end that first war, but Ecuador later said "screw you" after getting their hands on one of the world's first portable calculators and realizing the ramifications of losing half their territory-nearly 77,220 square miles, to Peru. The problem with the Rio Pact was that it defined part of the border between the two countries as "the river flowing into the Santiago River." Well, there are two rivers flowing into the Santiago River. Sprinkle some gold between the two and you've got a good fight. Even though Pope John Paul II has issued a call to both countries to stop the fighting, no one's listening.

Dictator of the Week

Coups could become a weekly event replacing soccer in this forgotten armpit of Africa. Back in 1969, Macias Nguema took over this oversized cocoa plantation and began systematically killing all his fellow politicians. By the time he was done, he had killed 50,000 of his own people, including every senior politician and civil servant, and 100,000 people, a third of the population, had fled.

When he was finally tried and executed in 1979, he had managed to spend the entire $105 million treasury. Since then, the remaining residents have been playing dictator for a week. One coup in 1986 only took 30 people to overthrow the government. Why not invite your church choir, and you too could be dictator for a day. The one good outcome is that there have been so few tourists that there technically is no tourist crime.

November 17; a Good Day to Die

The November 17 group is the most feared terrorist group in Greece and perhaps the most ruthless in Europe. The terrorist ring got its start with the December 1975 assassination of Athens CIA station chief Richard Welch while he was on his way home from a Christmas party, zapping him with what would become its signature grim reaper: a.45-caliber pistol.

Since then a.45 has been used in six more of its subsequent 20 executions, including four Americans, 13 Greeks and couple of Turkish diplomats. It doesn't sound like a particularly huge body count in these days of Hezbollah, GAI and Chechen whackos, but considering that not a single member of this shadowy group has been identified-much less arrested-it is. And the group has also conducted at least 35 other attacks on multi-national companies and Greek tax offices, employing bombs that suggest their construction techniques were learned in the Middle East in the early 1970s.

Of all of Europe's homegrown radical assassins, only the November 17 group remains entirely an enigma. Italy's Red Brigades and the German arm of the Red Army Faction have been snuffed. Rebel Basque, Irish and Corsican separatists have been picked off like flies by INTERPOL. Action Direct in France was similarly destroyed. But November 17's 10-25 members continue to allude all attempts to expose and drain them.

The terrorists named themselves for the day in 1973 when a student uprising at Athens Polytechnic University was crushed by soldiers and tanks sent in by the ruling military junta. These guys don't work on a single agenda. When the U.S. was supporting the military junta in Greece during the first decade of the terrorists' existence, the group blew away Americans. When Turkey occupied Cyprus in 1974, Turkish diplomats became the targets. For sure, November 17 is a Marxist outfit, professing hatred for both the U.S. and NATO, as well as the European Union. It's thought that its founding members belonged to a resistance group created by Socialist Premier Andreas Papandreou during the 1965-1975 military dictatorship. And there has been some indication that Papandreou knows who they are. But he's not talking.

The former East German police are believed to have been chummy with November 17, however attempts to retrieve information from their files have been futile. In the meantime, suspicions of connections with Middle East terror clans continue-as do.45 slugs to the head.

Timor Bomb

Indonesia is an archipelago of more than 13,000 islands, the largest of which are Kalimantan (Indonesian Borneo), Sumatra, Irian Jaya (West Irian), Sulawesi and Java. Nearly two-thirds of the population lives on Java, one of the most densely populated areas in the world. Sumatra contains 25 percent of Indonesia's land area and 20 percent of its population.

But it's on the far flung island of Timor where a lingering insurgency festers since the Indonesian invasion in 1975 (and annexation in 1976). The Timorese are not fond of their Indonesian rulers and continue to battle for their independence. More than 100,000 people are believed to have died in the Indonesian invasion of east Timor in 1975. About 200-450 rebels whack away at the soldiers while their leader and former poet; Jose "Xanana" Gusmao rots in Jakarta's Cipinang jail serving a 20 year sentence. Jose Ramos-Horta runs a slow steady PR campaign to keep East Timor in the limelight. The funny thing is the real ruler (according to the UN) is Portugal, not exactly known as a tread-lightly colonizer.

The Players

Ray Rala Jose "Xanana" Gusmao

Gusmao was born in the East Timorese town of Mana Luto on June 20, 1946. He studied at a Jesuit seminary and went to Dili High School. After compulsory service in the colonial forces he moved to Australia after winning East Timor's poetry prize in 1974. He became involved with the FRETILIN independence group and returned to East Timor in November 1975, a week before the invasion by Indonesia.

He became the leader of FRETILIN's military wing in 1978 and was a romantic symbol of liberation among the people. He negotiated a three month cease fire in 1978 and was captured and sentenced to life in prison in 1992. It was reduced to 20 years in 1993. His wife, Emilia, and his two children live in Melbourne.

Jose Ramos-Horta

The Nobel Peace Prize winner is Timor's biggest spokesperson and works closely with UN special envoy to Timor, Jamsheed Marker.

On the other end of the archipelago, the rebels of Aceh, on the northern tip of Sumatra, have all but ceded their war of independence.

Free Papua Movement/Organasi Papua Merdaki (OPM)

Timor isn't the only place in the archipelago with guerrillas in the midst. Often, entirely forgotten are the ragtag rebels of the Free Papua Movement (OPM), who have been fighting the Indonesian government for the independence of Irian Jaya (High Victory) with sticks, stones and rusty flintlocks for the last 30 years. Irian Jaya was supposed to gain their independence in 1965, but Indonesia decided to not leave. These guys don't get into the news that much and are often called the "T-shirt" army because they're about as trained and equipped as a Connecticut cub scout den. For now, the Indonesian government gets a third of its oil exports from Irian Jaya.

But for a group of seven unlucky foreigners, the rebels may as well be the charge of the Light Brigade. In January 1996, two Dutch researchers, four British students and a German stumbled into a solitary OPM unit, probably out gathering nuts and berries; the guerrillas found the juicy, plump, white-skinned Westerners a godsend. Just think, real live hostages-frightened Anglo pussycats-just like the kind we pick up on our satellite dish! The world, and CNN, had discovered the OPM.

Now known by the outside world, they and their supporters have taken to the streets. On March 18, 1996, thousands rioted in the Irian Jaya provincial capital of Jayapura, torching vehicles, shops and other buildings. Three demonstrators were shot dead, one a policeman who joined the rioters and was blown away by a shopowner protecting his investment. Since 150,000 people have died in this conflict and many more will. Don't expect a Visit Irian Jaya Year anytime soon.

President Suharto

Istana Negara, Jalan Veteran

Jakarta, Indonesia

Fax: (+62) 2136 0517, (+62) 2136 7781, (+62) 2136 7782 (all via Ministry of Foreign Affairs)

Suharto is the man in Indonesia. He and his family control most of country's wealth along with ethnic Chinese businessmen. His aggressive philosophy of "Mapalindo" has created wars in Borneo, East Timor, Irian Jaya.

A Rift in the Valley

Tourism to Africa's most "civilized" country has declined due to attacks in game parks, lawlessness in the major cities and continuing tribal clashes in areas such as the Rift Valley. Tourism revenue plummeted from US$400 million in 1991 to US$295 million in 1992. The Gulf War and Somalia were a couple of good reasons. Somali bandits crossed the border and attacked U.N. relief workers in Wajir province. At least 35 security officers and 50 civilians have been killed in Wajir, Garissa and Mandera provinces. The Red Cross has suspended selected relief operations in the northern provinces due to bandit attacks and the theft of materials.

In Nairobi, armed robbers ambush expensive vehicles as they drive in exclusive neighborhoods: Mercedes Gelandwagons, Land Rover Defenders, Discoveries, Range Rovers, Toyota Land Cruisers and Isuzu Troopers are their favorite targets. In Nairobi, 1224 cars were stolen in the first six months of 1992. Twenty-five were stolen from the U.N. High Commission for Refugees alone. The M.O.: Carjackers cut off the intended victim, occasionally utilizing an accomplice to prevent a rear escape. Most carjackings take place after 7 p.m., but there have been incidents during daylight hours in populated places.

With more than half of the population of Kenya under the age of 15 and unemployment at over 60 percent, there is ample motivation for criminal behavior. Average per-capita income in Kenya is below US$450 a year. Add to the soup bloodthirsty cops and more than 330,000 refugees and thousands of automatic weapons from Somalia, and the continent becomes darker indeed. Displaced by the war in Somalia, rugged hardy bands of desperate Somali men go south in search of anything of value. Just hope you don't have what they want.

Kenyan police enjoy bragging that they've killed (not apprehended) 70 percent of the bandits operating in the game park regions. But that's little solace. There's no guarantee you won't run into elements of the other 30 percent.

No unraveling republic would be complete without a little religious clan violence. Although religion-based political parties are banned in Kenya, there are outlaws who love to whoop it up. The Mombasa-based Islamic Party of Kenya gets involved in frequent clashes with the pro-government United Muslims of Africa party. In the Rift Valley, it's everyone for themselves, as Daniel Arap Moi's Kalenjin tribe battles with the dominant Kikuyu tribe in the valley. More than 1000 people have been killed in such violence since 1991.

Bombies and Zombies

From 1964 until 1973, U.S. planes averaged one sortie every eight minutes over this unfortunate slice of Spam wedged between Vietnam and Cambodia. More than 285 million bombs were dropped over Indochina during the Vietnam War, a good number of them over Laos; a good number of those remain unexploded.

Many payloads were jettisoned by B-52s, which had to get back to their bases in Thailand in a hurry; other warplanes used Laos for target practice. But mainly, Laos was pounded into oblivion to prevent Pathet Lao guerrillas from advancing from their jungle bases in the northeast toward the capital of Vientiane, as well as to wreak havoc on North Vietnamese forces shuttling up and down the Ho Chi Minh Trail, which cuts a narrow swath through the mountains of Laos.

The Laotians call the unexploded ordinance "bombies," a cute term for the cluster bombs that today take scores of Laotian lives every month. And because farmers cannot take advantage of valuable agricultural land due to the "buried treasure," thousands more Laotians face malnourishment and starvation seemingly with zombielike indifference. In heavily carpet-bombed Xieng Khouang province northeast of Vientiane, hundreds of families subsist on virtually no food at all for three to four months of every year due to the "bombies" in the fields. These "bombies" are actually small bomblets (or cluster bombs)-but very lethal-that spill from large casings as they're dropped from aircraft. The bomblets, about the size of a tennis ball, number about 650 to the case. Covered in bright yellow plastic, they make a particular curiosity to children, who comprise 44 percent of all bomb accidents in Laos. Half these accidents result in death. You don't want to see what the other half look like. Thirty-one percent of all bomb accidents occur while children are playing, giving a new meaning to Romper Room.

There aren't many soccer fields in Laos.

McPieces in our Time

The IRA and Sinn Fien waffle back and forth between peace and bombing. For now it's peace talks. It would be very hard to foresee any peaceful solution to clear away centuries of anger and hate.

Beach Blanket Bingo

The government of Morocco informs us that there are currently 30 foreign-backed Islamic fundamentalists working to advance its causes. Gee, do you think it might have something to do with the fact that the Moroccan military grabbed 102,675 square miles of desert without asking? The war began in 1975 when Spain pulled out and Morocco moved in. Polisario Front was created in 1973.

Quite a windfall, when you consider all the heat Israel gets for grabbing only a cactus or two from its neighbors. Technically, the 17-year war with the Polisario Front was wrapped up in 1991, but the peace talk invitations probably didn't get delivered at every camel stop. For now, the Moroccans are doing a tidy business cultivating and exporting ganja (about US$2 billion a year), and are crossing their fingers that nobody asks them where they got all that extra beachfront property to the south. Give 'em a shout.

Sa Majeste Roi Hassan II (His Majesty King Hassan II)

Bureau de sa Majeste le Roi, Palais Royal

Rabat, Maroc (Morocco)

Telex: 0407 31744, 0407 32908,

Telegrams: sa majeste le roi, Rabat, Maroc (French or English)

Down in Noriegaville

Panama is a mean, dirty poor little place. Bombs continue to go off in public places and there's still a holdout group left that just can't get over the days when their nostrils were packed with speedballs. The M-20 Group (or 20th December National Liberation Group, named after the date the U.S. invaded Panama) is made up of Manuel Noriega's old drinking buddies. These former Panamanian Defense Force folks don't have much of an agenda or even a good press agent. Their goal is to oust the occupiers of Panama and bring the current political administration to justice as traitors. Most of the 600-900 murders committed each year are by people under the age of 18.

Lovelorn

Sengal's southern Casamance Province has been home to the Movement of Democratic Forces of Casamance (MFDC) since 1982. They are fighting for autonomy from the central government citing neglect. They continue to indulge in shoot-outs, looting, and throat slitting incidents. Four French tourists never returned from one deadly region in April of 1995, and locals are occasionally found slaughtered like sheep. Although the government will tell you everything is hunky dory, 50 rebels attacked a military camp in August.

Tied Apart

A British Consumers Association survey has claimed that South Africa is one of the world's most dangerous places for tourists. It estimates that 5 percent of all tourists that visit are attacked or robbed. South Africa has the dubious distinction of having the highest crime rate of any country not at war. With about 61.1 murders per 100,000 people, South Africa has the dubious distinction of being the rape capital of the world with 119.5 per 100,000 people. The government thinks only one in 20 rapes is reported. Some sources only 20 percent of commercial crimes are reported and only half of regular crimes are brought to the police's attention. The good news? The average murder victim is killed with a knife or a broken bottle by an acquaintance with whom he had got into a drunken weekend brawl, according to Reuters. So make sure you order your beer in paper cups. Crime is on a downward trend.

Most of the crime is in Joburg, and though Mandela has instituted some tough new laws, the average case load for a cop is 47 crimes. So it's no surprise that about half go unsolved. Residents actually considered a plan by prison boss Khulekani Sitlole to put violent criminals in mine shafts.

What do politicians do when things get tough? Why, give themselves a raise of course. Mandela's predecessor, F.W. de Clerk, pulled down US$73,817 a year as well as US$6000 for expenses. He also received a US$77,770 car allowance every four years. And he didn't drive to the U.N. once. Mandela, on the other hand, decided he was going to make up for what he had been missing all those years in prison and he bumped his compensation to US$191,660 a year. The average annual wage in South Africa for whites is about US$4000; blacks in the townships make considerably less. Members of parliament aren't complaining though they jacked their salaries from US$34,160 up to US$44,720.

More good news? An ominous force that has arisen to counter crime is PAGAD (People Against Gangsterism and Drugs). PAGAD is a Muslim anti-drug group out of Cape Town who began in 1996 by executing a local drug heavy in the Cape Town suburbs. They seem to be effective since for the first time anywhere, about 2000 gangster and drug dealers actually protested in front of Parliament seeking protection from the police. One gang leader was shot 72 times and set on fire by a PAGAD member. The bad news? It seems that PAGAD is alleged to have direct ties with Hezbollah and Hamas.

President Nelson Mandela

(012) 21-2222; FAX (012) 323-3114

 

Makin' Mischief

These flyspeck islands are custom-made for an international dispute. This group of islands just north of Borneo is floating on oil close to nowhere. China, Brunei, the Philippines, Vietnam and anybody else in the neighborhood who has a half-assed reason to lay claim to these isles is talking tough and showing off military hardware like gangs in a schoolyard. China has occupied the aptly named Mischief reef. The Philippines sent its entire fighter airforce (nine planes) to sit nearby and look tough. The other countries have gone running to the world court to mediate. Meanwhile, China has built ramshackle fishing-boat shelters to get squatters rights. Looks like the court may have to separate the kids in this messy divorce.

The Seed of World War III

Chinese Premier Li Peng is not happy with Taiwanese President Lee Teng-hui, who's considering taking the lethal gamble of declaring Taiwan's independence from Mother China. The scarlet latter considers Taiwan a renegade province and will not tolerate such tomfoolery. China has been doing military "exercises" in the Taiwan Strait, lobbing missiles to within a few hundred meters of the Taiwanese coast, just to let the islanders considering independence know the next volley will fall on their heads. The U.S. Navy, in March 1996, sent two carrier groups close to the Strait in a show of force as the Chinese continued to splatter rockets into the waters off Taiwanese beaches. Sunbathers beware. If China decides to take the island by force, they've got a billion or so people who can help them out in the operation. Will Uncle Sam let it happen? Probably. Hell, it's confusing enough with two Congos, why do we need two Chinas? Will Beijing back off at American threats? Doubtful. The skies again could be gill-netted by MiGs and F-16s, duking it out over Formosa. This wouldn't be any Cold War, folks. China invading Taiwan would be the real thing.