Oh Won't You Stay Just a Little Bit Longer

You're catching some rays on the beach in Manzanillo. The low tangerine shafts of sunlight trickle across the purple Pacific as you wipe the pina colada foam from your lips. It's your last day. Monday, it's back behind the desk at Shrapnel-Wesson Bros., the brokerage people, in beautiful downtown Gary, Indiana. You lament the week ahead, as you notice the young Mexican kid approach your towel. Another souvenir or massage parlor tout. Jeez, they get these kids young, you think. Instead of balsawood dolphins, hammocks or whorehouse flyers, the kid pulls from his pocket a bag of weed. You do a double take. Sensimilla, the kid says. Twenty bucks. What the hell, you say. It's your last day. You're grabbed from behind. Someone's got your hair. Your face gets stuffed into the sand. Then a boot in the left ear. Christ, that hurt! Thirty minutes later, you're pissing against a stained cement wall. Your left eye has swollen over. You've signed a confession.

What the hell. It's your last day.

There are an average of 6000 Americans arrested in 90 different countries each year according to the State Department. About 1500 are doing time in foreign jails. The majority (about 70 percent) of the cases are drug-related. Mexico and Jamaica are responsible for the bulk of the drug-related incarcerations, filing 72 percent of all drug charges against Americans traveling abroad.

The top five destinations for Americans seeking free room and board are Mexico, Germany, Canada, Jamaica and Great Britain. Last year, Mexico had 525 gringos on ice and had arrested 768 that year. Fifty-five of those weren't happy campers and filed complaints of mistreatment. The Mexican judicial system is based on Roman and Napoleonic law and presumes a person accused of a crime is guilty until proven innocent. There is no trial by jury. Trial under the Mexican system is a prolonged process based largely on documents examined on a fixed date in court by prosecution and defense counsel. Sentencing usually takes six to 10 months. Bail can be granted after sentencing if the sentence is less than five years. Pretrial bail exists but is never granted when the possible sentence is greater than five years.

Even those folks have it good. In places like Malaysia and Singapore, move dope and die. Zero tolerance. Deal dope and you'll get the rope. Getting beaten up in a Mexican jail may be inconvenient, but at least the federales are trying to teach you a lesson, one you might learn from in later life. In Southeast Asia, there is no later life.